Fatherhood.
This post is a copy from an interview I did for Father’s Day. To see all the articles from that interview go to manupministry.net
How vital is Fatherhood?
It is one of the most important tasks that God has given me. Fatherhood is what God has given me to demonstrate his greatness through my weakness to my family. When I take time to be a father to my kids and a husband to my wife, I am taking time to glorify God with my life. In doing those things, I am also showing my family how we honor the Lord. I grew up with a very present father and one who loved and cared for me. There is no doubt that because of God’s grace in his life as a father, I see a deep need to be a great father for the glory of God.
How has the importance of fatherhood changed in the last few years?
Being a father in our culture means that if you are present, you are a good Dad. I would say that there is an urgency for us not only to “be around,” but also to be active and present in our children’s lives (no matter the age). Culture has a near antagonism toward fathers, so we as Christians should be fathers who know our kids, listen to our kids, and seek to humble ourselves enough to learn from them. You could make a strong case that if we want the church to thrive in our culture, we need dads who will father like this.
What are the biggest struggles men face today?
I could say the prominent sin temptations men face are porn, laziness and gluttony, to name a few. However, I think those sins are an overflow of a prideful heart. As men, we are coached from childhood to have it all together, but maybe we should be more focused on our brokenness, and that Jesus redeemed us in our brokenness. Speaking from experience, when I am prideful and not actively confessing my sin to my wife and friends, I am stunted in my spiritual growth. Why? Because I am trying to make it on my own. I need, and what I think all men need, is to see our brokenness and God’s saving grace for us in our broken state.
What do you see as men’s biggest needs?
The “church answer” is Jesus. It would be the correct answer, but let me expand on it. First, we need a deep and passionate desire to be all about Jesus and the gospel. We need to be people like Paul, who was facing death, encouraging a young man in the faith repeatedly with “do not be ashamed of the Gospel” (see 2 Timothy). We need to speak about Jesus with each other. We need to sing about Jesus. And have our family dinner time be centered around Jesus. We need to lead our wives to have a passion for Jesus. We need to seek Jesus humbly.
How can men best help our culture today?
Act like the faithful men and women we see in the book of Daniel. There are several characters in that book. All live in a foreign land; all are asked to do things against the will of God, and none give in. They choose faithfulness. None of them do anything spectacular, they just live life loving the Lord, and that faithfulness of life is a witness to the people around them. I think we should live similarly. We must be faithful to Christ even if we might get thrown into a fire, lose our jobs or frustrate our neighbors. We are to be faithful, and it is amazing what a faithful witness can do. I would also encourage men to remember where our true home is. It is not OKC or the USA, it is with God in heaven. So when we engage with the culture, we need to see our home as an eternal one.
How can men help our churches today?
Be good church members. This is not a call for men to tithe more. Instead, I think men should lead the way in the church in many ways. First, we should be men who know theology and can protect the church from doctrinal error. Sadly, many churches in the world have chosen a false gospel, and we must protect our church from falling into error. To do this, we must be students of the world. When our church is filled with men who are passionate and desperate for God and his word, it will affect every other ministry in the church. I would also encourage men to serve where they are gifted. Find a place or a people, to serve and to give your life, not for your own glory, but for the glory of God. I would encourage all men to read two books: 9 Marks to a Healthy Church by Mark Dever and What is a Healthy Church Member by Thabiti Anyabwile
How would you describe godly masculinity?
Jesus was called meek and mild, but in Revelation, he comes back riding a horse with a sword in his hand, ready to cast judgment. I am not advocating for us to buy a horse and a sword. What I am saying is that masculinity is both intellectual and physical. Jesus was kind and caring, but when injustice occurred, he would not let those stand. So with our families and kids, they should see us in weakness, in tears, laughing, hugging, on our knees, even grieving, but they should also see us not back down when we see injustice. They should see us run to help those in need. What I am trying to get across is that we should live as Jesus lived. He gave his life away for others, and we should give our lives away so people can see and hear the gospel in our lives.
What is a good book you would recommend to encourage men?
I know this sounds overly simple but read the Bible. If you haven’t read it, read it. If you have, read it again. The more you read it, the more conformed to his image you become. That being said, I read Kent Hughes’s book titled Disciplines of a Godly Man last year, and it is practical and helpful. I would also recommend Desiring God by John Piper. In many ways, I have adapted the thesis of that book as my thesis for life.